Exorcise the Gay Away!

June is LGBT pride month, which essentially means there will be a month long drought of rainbow décor and glitter in craft stores everywhere that will make the California water shortage look like Waterworld. And they certainly have something to celebrate: gaybugs have made immense amounts of progress in the last year, really within the last few months, given that the majority of states that had bans on gay marriage were challenged and the bans were overturned. It would appear that the scales have finally tipped in favor of the human rights movement, though the progress treads dangerously close to the borderline, and the percentages of proponents and opponents are sometimes varied by a few points. Public opinion obviously shifts depending on where you stand in the hemispheres of America, as seen in this unpleasant video on ABC's WhatWould You Do. There are still those who think it’s a sin, there are still those who think it’s disgusting. Most importantly, there are still those who think it’s a choice with a cure.

Conversion Therapy, once known as Gay Aversion Therapy, has lost popularity in mainstream mental health services gradually since homosexuality was eliminated as a mental disorder in the DSM in 1973. Prior to that, aversion therapies ranged from talk therapy and prayer to catatonia-inducing medications, shock treatment, and even lobotomies. Being gay was viewed as an unnatural diversion from the evolutionary, biological, spiritual, and moral norm; a disease that must be treated and cured alongside polio and leprosy. But even as early as the 1920s, individuals were starting to recognize the folly in this belief. One being Sigmund Freud, who was never really a particular favorite of mine, but scored bonus points with me when I uncovered this quote about conversion: “’in general to undertake to convert a fully developed homosexual into a heterosexual does not offer much more prospect of success than the reverse.’ Success meant making heterosexual feeling possible, not eliminating homosexual feelings.” And so many of these therapies focused on the latter; shock that was administered in pairings with “inappropriate visual stimuli”, if successful, only created a negative association to homosexual feelings. Heterosexual feelings were never fostered, and most “cured” gays were expected to live the life of a celibate or fake orgasms with their heterosexual partners. Documentaries focusing on these so-called ex-gays usually depicted men with plastered smiles on their faces, perched on a couch next to their wife, holding a bouncing baby, and seething with self-hatred and distaste for life. Some of these men eventually “regressed” back to their homosexual lifestyles once they found self-acceptance.

But these issues were from decades and even centuries ago, right? We’re no longer plagued with such ignorance. The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, the American Medical Association have all unanimously spoken out against the practice of gay conversion therapies citing the damage that it can create and the principal of the Hippocratic Oath: Do No Harm. Conversion therapy feeds into guilt and shame, which causes depression and suicidal ideations. So why is it that only recently some states are beginning to adopt bans against this harmful treatment?

Just one year ago in 2013, Governor Jerry Brown determined that it was illegal for mental health providers to administer conversion therapy to minors identifying as LGBT given that many of them were being forced into treatment by overzealous parents. New Jersey has a similar law, which means no more straightening camps, no more trivial therapy sessions, and no more private lashings (sadly, this does not apply to religious organizations such as pastors or priests, who are not licensed mental health professionals and always seem to think they can do whatever the hell they want anyways). Illinois is on its way to passing a conversion ban, as was New York, but unfortunately, ongoing passage of these protective legislations has hit obstacles.

As New York prepared passage, they were stalled because these so called ex-gays ventured out to a few meet and greets with law makers, trying to perpetuate the image that there is nothing wrong with degrading and denying your true self. Though I can’t call it a surprise, Texas has also jumped on the bandwagon as earlier this week the Republic party unveiled its anti-gay platform. In addition to claims of gays being the devil and “tearing at the fabric of society,” they argued that they “recognize the legitimacy and value of counseling which offers reparative therapy and treatment to patients who are seeking escape from the homosexual lifestyle. No laws or executive orders shall be imposed to limit or restrict access to this type of therapy.” Likewise, in spite of the excess of medical and mental health associations noted above who are against conversion, and being one of the first states to ban conversion therapy for minors, the California Association of Marriage Therapists took a subtle stance against bans as well. While acknowledging that there is nothing wrong with being gay, CAMFT refused to go so far as to speak out against conversion therapy, stating, “CAMFT acknowledges that current cultural prejudice about same-sex sexual orientation compels some clients to seek out sexual orientation change due to personal, family, or religious conflicts, or to better fit into some cultural and religious norms[…] CAMFT advises mental health professionals that do provide assistance to those who seek sexual orientation change, to do so by utilizing affirmative multi-culturally competent and client-centered approaches that recognize the negative impact of social stigma on sexual minorities and balance ethical principles of beneficence and non-maleficence (sic), justice, and respect for people’s rights and dignity.”

So yes, we know that being gay causes distress in homosexual individuals. They are constantly faced with adversity, discrimination, bullying, humiliation, and weekly if not daily reminders that their lifestyle is not moral, that they are Hell-bound, that they are dirty and second-class citizens. They are not afforded the same protections and rights as heterosexuals. They have been beaten, they have been shamed, they have been spit on and knocked down. But in what other circumstance would a mental health professional tell someone to change themselves to reduce stress from an outside source? “So your husband berates and beats you? Well let’s teach you how to stop being annoying and getting in his way.” “Oh your mom’s an alcoholic and it bothers you? Well, we’ll teach you to be a better child so she will stop drinking.” “Someone called you the N-word and burned a cross in your front yard? Well let’s start painting your skin white, and then no one will bother you.” “Oh it’s hard to be gay in today’s society? Well then, let’s straighten you out!” The responsibility of change needs to shift away from the client and out into the world.

The cornerstones of therapy are self-efficacy, self-esteem, and self-acceptance. When a gay child is distressed or depressed, it is not reflective of some innate internal struggle. It is the crushing dissonance this world has implanted in their small minds. And it grows with them; it consumes them. It is the mental health professional’s responsibility to challenge and destroy these distortions, to strengthen the client, to stand against social stigmas. As a lesbian, I can tell you, being gay is not a walk in paradise, and yes, life got hard, but I got stronger to survive it. I can’t and won’t be fixed; I’m not broken. As a mental health professional, I can tell you it’s not my job to fix anyone else who’s not broken either.